Find awful promos that we can laugh at

[Everlong]

Preferably written by you

http://wcsf.46.forumer.com/index.php

Go hunting. I'm looking for some bad ones circa 2005 right now. Shouldn't take too long

[ShaneOfan]

Okay I'll not only go first but I'll share one of mine

SEGMENT- Billy Spade, The Buck, The Valentine Kid
By thepeopleschump, ShaneoFan, and Supakilla13

Spade and Buck are standing in the back near a soda machine laughing.

Buck: Man, last week was awesome! We just marked our legacy in the WCSF. Nobody can stop us now!

Spade: Yeah man, you rocked that chump last week.

Buc k:Speaking of chumps, *points to Valentine Kid who is walking toward them*.

Spade: Hey man, you get lost on the way to the circus?

Buck whispers to Spade: No man, he's a wrestler.

Spade: He is? Hey buddy, Halloween was 4 months ago; are you just too poor to have any clothes to change out of after going trick or treating? And who’s your manager? Bozo the clown?

the valentine kid: Bozo the clown?? Hey, that’s pretty funny! Hahaha… you think that you guys are cool because of what you did last week. All you are is cowards!! I think that all you are is a couple of punks that like to bully people around and if they try to fight back you just play the numbers game and over power them. Well this week I get a one on one match with you and I will beat the crap out of you for all the people out there that you have or will bully around.

Spade: Ha, yeah right. A guy in a suit that he stole half from a circus and the other half from a 2 year old's costume party is gonna whip my ass? Next joke?

(a smile goes back on the face of the valentine kid and he gets his bow in his hands)

the valentine kid: Your going to feel the love tonight!

(he puts a plastic arrow with a heart at the end in the bow and shots Spade with it and walks to the ring for their match)

Buck: Heh, he just punked you out, Bill. What are you gonna do about it?

Spade: I'm gonna rock that chump!

The two walk off.

[Everlong]

^LOLOL I was just about to post that one!!

"Can you feel the love tonight?!" MENACING AS FUCK

[prophet]

Rodney Redneck ladies and gentlemen, 1-0 against Nick Foster

Announcer – Ladies and Gentlemen Rodney Redneck !!!!!!!

Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks plays and Rodney Redneck appears from behind the curtain Nose Bleed Seated people Cheer everyone else just clap no real pop
Rodney gets in the Ring ....and grabs a Mic

" Ok Here is my Life roll the Video"

OK OK OK …….. static is heard and the screen pops up showing a Run Down Farmhouse.

Rodney from behind the camera says

This is my Farmhouse

The Camera pans across the Farmhouse and there is a dirty looking pick up truck

This is my Ford Pickup Betsy

He then walks towards the Farmhouse a Rooster darts across the screen

This is my King Rooster Rooter

Says Rodney as he reaches the door of the Farm House and opens the door the camera then pans to the Kitchen which is a mess with Pans and Pots 2 foot high on the sink and about 10 or so dishes with other kitchen mess and food with a Beer Can wall going across the room on the floor

This is my Beer Can Collection

The Camera then pans across the room to the dining table with tons of newspapers and magazines Rodney picks up one of the magazines it reads CORN FED HO’S with a large lady on the cover

This is my Porn Collection and Miss Portland is mighty fine

The Camera then moves into the Family room it’s a mess with Beer Cans and a small 21 inch TV is in the corner with MTV playing Cribs there is a Gun Rack above the fireplace
It has a 12 Gauge Shotgun Rodney grabs the gun puts the camera on the TV facing him.
He then blast’s a hole in the wall making a huge hole

There is my peeping hole to My Sister’s Room

He then grabs the camera and moves closer to the hole in the room pushing the camera lens through the hole you see a semi naked woman she screams and kicks the hole and smashes the camera ………Static and the Video stops …...

[Everlong]

Just found this brilliant match:


MATCH- THE EXECUTIONER def. John Xhilone in WCSF Tourney
By Dark Knight and Taj2004

Xhilone enters the ring all cocky with not much of a reaction. Eventually the match starts with some back and forth action and Xhilone attempts the flipping pile driver but it is countered into The Execution. The Executioner gets the cover and the easy pinfall. He exits the arena cockily, with a chorus of boos following him after his squash.


WELCOME TO THE WCSF TAJ

I DARE YOU TO FIND A MATCH THAT STANDS UP TO THIS ONE

[Everlong]

Video package for Sinistra's debut as a lame "dark/evil/brooding/supernatural" character.

VIDEO PROMO - Sinistra Debuts At...

A video promo begins to air on the TitanTron, with the familiar black with red billowing letters coming up to the screen. However, before the letters can form any discernable shape, we hear the usual harsh voice over the soundsystem, as the image of a cloaked man with glinting red eyes crouched in a darkened corner is shown.

Voice: You’ve seen the warnings…

After the voice finishes saying that, Steve Sinistra is shown delivering The Epitath in the ring to various opponents, the same clip as two weeks ago. The camera immediately flashes back to the darkened figure.

Voice: You’ve been given the signs…

After this, the screen flashes in sequence the 6 stages of last week (no more than a second of each), ending with the camera back on the cloaked figure.

Voice: And now, it’s time you felt the presence!

Suddenly, the TitanTron goes completely black, and the arena is shrouded in darkness. Suddenly, red lighting shines from the ceiling into the ring, forming the word “Sinistra” in an eerie font. Some of the crowd screams, but most remain hauntingly silent. The TitanTron turns back on, but the lighting remains in the ring. The figure returns to the screen, but is no longer crouching. He is now right up next to the camera, his face still shrouded in darkness.

Voice: At WCSF Annihilation, I will make my impact on the company, a mark that will never be erased! And to the one of you pathetic excuses for wrestlers backstage whose misfortune it will be my first victim, at least take pride in knowing you’ll be part of history, because after I’m through with you, a new era will begin in the WCSF, an era cloaked in darkness!

As he says this, his eyes suddenly start to glint red. The red lighting in the arena goes wild, sending red spotlights all over the place, but still leaving the word “Sinistra” in the ring. Soon, though, the red lighting all focuses on one place, and new words are added to the ring… “Coming at Annihilation”.

The voice from the TitanTron gives a cold cackle, as the lighting and the TitanTron image gradually fade out…

Promo by reyflyinfury619

[SKS]

The Camera then pans across the room to the dining table with tons of newspapers and magazines Rodney picks up one of the magazines it reads CORN FED HO’S with a large lady on the cover

This is my Porn Collection and Miss Portland is mighty fine

The Camera then moves into the Family room it’s a mess with Beer Cans and a small 21 inch TV is in the corner with MTV playing Cribs there is a Gun Rack above the fireplace
It has a 12 Gauge Shotgun Rodney grabs the gun puts the camera on the TV facing him.
He then blast’s a hole in the wall making a huge hole

There is my peeping hole to My Sister’s Room

He then grabs the camera and moves closer to the hole in the room pushing the camera lens through the hole you see a semi naked woman she screams and kicks the hole and smashes the camera ………Static and the Video stops …...

[Everlong]

That Rodney Redneck promo is seriously the greatest

[Ali]

Honestly, I don't think this is bad, but it was stupid as hell.

SEGMENT - Crash Testing...?

Steve Spielman, mic in hand, is running to the parking lot. The camera follows.

Spielman: Come on, come on! I’ve just gotten word that Johnny Briggs is gonna pull a stunt where he could kill himself! I honestly hope he doesn’t, but, either way, this’ll be great television! Come on!

Johnny Briggs (off-screen): Launch the Kamikaze Watermelon!

Fanfare.

Voice: WHEEEEEEE!

Splat.

Steve runs in and sees the remains of a Watermelon splattered on a wall. Not more than 10 feet away, there’s a cannon big enough for a human to fit in. Johnny is standing there with five friends.

Briggs: Stevie! Wassup, man!

Spielman: Uh… what the hell is going on here?

Briggs: Oh, it’s just something me and my buds are doin’ here. We got Jose and Robert manning the cannon, Edgar’s workin’ the remote control life-size Motorcycle, Chris is helping loading the cannon, and Parish the Black Guy’s using his skills of Blackness to help gain funds for the inevitable hospital bills.

The cameras and mics run over to Parish, who is scalping tickets into the arena.

Parish: All right, now just if you get caught, you got these tickets from a fat white guy in a Star Trek shirt. You feelin’ me? Hey, get that camera outta my face!

Parish shoves the camera away.

Spielman: So… why exactly are you doing this?

Edgar: I’d sure as hell like to know.

Briggs: Can it. This is a message to Xhilone. See, I live right around here. I’m back home for the first time since I’ve signed with WCSF, and I’m not even on the damn card? I’ve been anticipating this for a while now, and I told all my friends and family that I’d be making my hometown debut here. You can imagine how disappointed I was when I learned I wasn’t on the card.

Spielman: True… but what does this have to do with any of that?

Briggs: Like I said, this is a message. I want everyone to see how extreme I am. What lengths I’m willing to go to in order to get what I want—no, no—deserve.

Spielman: And what would that be?

Briggs: The Unleashed! Championship.

Spielman: W-w-w-what?

Briggs: Oh, yeah, I’ll start small and win the Cruiserweight championship, maybe a Tag Team title, but eventually everyone knows I’m gonna be at the top of this company.

Chris: And if You’re Not Down With That, We’ve Got—

Jose: Shut up, man! You wanna get sued?

Robert: You shut up, dumbass!

Briggs: Guys, guys, you’re all retarded. Now I’ve noticed something in common about most of the guys in the WCSF. They’re scared, Stevie. Scared of their true potential and scared to get hurt. See, me, I ain’t scared of nothing or nobody. All the Cruiserweights can do so much more but they’re afraid to let it out. So let me show you what I’m gonna do here.

Spielman: O… k…

Briggs: Basically, we’ve been using the Kamikaze Watermelons to test the firing power of this cannon. Basically, Edgar’s gonna start up with the remote control motorcycle. He’s gonna drive it onto the freeway through traffic. Meanwhile, I’m gonna launch myself out of this cannon towards the bike. Now, I don’t have any protective gear on. You know why?

Spielman: Because… you’re not afraid?

Briggs: You learn quickly, young one. Now, if everything goes right, I’m gonna land on the Motorcycle, take control, and go visit my family. But the thing is, nothing ever goes right. Everyone Ready?!

Edgar, Chris, Robert, Jose, and Parish: READY!

Johnny gets in the cannon and starts counting down.

Briggs & Co.: 3! 2! 1! GO!

The camera turns to Steve as the cannon launches. Numerous crashing noises are heard, including cars screeching, metal crashing, and other painful sounds.

Spielman (looking scared to death): OH DEAR LORD!

Briggs: OH S**T! WHERE THE F**K IS MY PANCREAS?!

Parish: SOMEONE PICK UP HIS GODDAMN APPENDIX!

(pause)

Briggs: THAT WAS NUTS!

Segment written by NEDM

[Daz]

Oh Josh Outland, this thread was made for you...

[ShaneOfan]

^LOLOL I was just about to post that one!!

"Can you feel the love tonight?!" MENACING AS FUCK

See the thing is, I don't think I actually wrote that. I mean it is my character yes, but I would never have used the term "chump". I honestly think that one might have been all Buck and the other fellow.

[HFX]

Tim tell the truth. You made this to show me that I am not the worst simmer to ever do a promo

[UTK]

Drake Bernard: People like you are the reason we have middle fingers, Shut Up you cumguzzlers!!!

The fans respond with loud jeers. Bernard looks at Viazon, an evil gleam appears in Bernard's eyes. The Deadliest Snake slithers and lunges towards the lifeless body of Viazon. The fans continue their jeers.

Drake Bernard: How are you doing, Viaz? Not so good? But It was all your fault. Specifically speaking for past few weeks you were doing nothing more then trying to stir things up between us. You're just like these people, a munging hypocritical manipulative jerk. You were a big reason behind our disunity in the past few weeks but I've got some bad news for ya that, Draven is STILL a very much important part of Trinity.

Where is PhenomRocks these days?

[Str8Shooter]

Surprised no one posted "THAT" JLo and PPD promo, where they almost got it on in the most uncomfortable WCSF promo of all time. I'd do it but I'm too lazy to find it

[Daz]

Surprised no one posted "THAT" JLo and PPD promo, where they almost got it on in the most uncomfortable WCSF promo of all time. I'd do it but I'm too lazy to find it

I tried but couldn't remember which year it was from.

[SortaCreative]

Whoever finds it gets rep points.

[Daz]

I'm looking now. It must have been 09 cause that's when Lis joined SOS and she was done with WCSF at that point.

[Daz]

Two's Company

The camera cuts to the back. It shows Joshua Leo Outland in his wrestling attire getting a quick workout. He has an Ipod hooked to his tights and he is sweating profusely. Josh quits punching the heavy bag and steps out into the hallway. Selena Starr is wandering down the hallway on the way to the women's locker room, fussing with her recently-styled hair when she almost bumps into Josh. Josh clicks the pause button on his Ipod and then looks up.

Joshua Leo Outland: Hey, watch where you're walkin' there beautiful.

Selena goes to make an insult but then changes her mind and a calculating smile appears on her face.

Selena: Well, we could debate on who ran into who... but I'd rather discuss something else. I'm actually glad I ran into you. I've been watching you in the ring. Very impressive. I could learn a lot from someone like yourself..." Selena purrs, sliding a finger suggestively up Josh's arm.

Josh's demeanor changes from serious and imposing to flirty as he leans against the wall and looks at her trailing her finger up his arm and smiles.

Joshua Leo Outland: Well, pretty eyes, I'm a former world champ and I took a lazy slob and raised him to be a tag champion. There's a damn lot I can teach someone like yourself.....

Selena: *In a suggestive tone.* Is that right? Well how about I scratch your back and you scratch mine? You show me some of those moves of yours...and I'll help you out any way I can starting with this match of yours tonight...

Josh laughs and scoots close to Selena, immediately rubbing her back sexually.

Joshua Leo Outland: I can think of plenty of things other than your BACK I'd like to get my hands on, my sexy Starrlet. *as his hand trails down to her ass.* Do you want me to teach you new moves in the ring.....or would you like advanced lessons in the sack?" *as he squeezes her ass.*

Selena: Well let's see...we've got some time before our match...so let's start in the sack and move on to other things...later!!

Selena grabs the front of Josh's tights and pulls him back into the locker room. The sound of a door clicking is heard from the inside and then a few bangs and a loud sigh are heard as the camera fades to black.

[Everlong]

^^ YES

The funny thing is that segment went NOTHING like we booked it. We had booked a simple segment where Selena was looking for a client for managerial services, and picked JLO because he was a rising star or something like that. Then they added in all of this sexual content themselves just assuming that we'd like it or something, I dunno hahaha.

Ohhhh yeah. Good times.

[Daz]

^^ YES

The funny thing is that segment went NOTHING like we booked it. We had booked a simple segment where Selena was looking for a client for managerial services, and picked JLO because he was a rising star or something like that. Then they added in all of this sexual content themselves just assuming that we'd like it or something, I dunno hahaha.

Ohhhh yeah. Good times.

It's cringe inducing. And he wonders why I didn't want to make her women's champion in SOS.