Ranking Every Pay-Per-View

[Messiah]

Are the scores out of 5 or 10?

10.

[Messiah]

10 - G.O.A.T.
9-9.9 - Legendary
8-8.9 - Great
7-7.9 - Very good
6-6.9 - Good
5-5.9 - Above Average
4-4.9 - Average
3-3.9 - Okay
2-2.9 - Meh
1-1.9 - Terrible
0-.9 - Stay far away

Keep in mind this is all relative to its competition historically.

[Messiah]

WrestleMania V
Of all of the pay-per-views I have watched so far, this one probably has the one match I'm most looking forward to if only because they have been building towards it for so long. I have, I kid you not, actually never seen Hogan/Savage before (not the one at this show). Some other noteworthy matches on the show - Roberts/Andre, Rude/Warrior, Demolition/PoP, Perfect/Owen (as Blue Blazer), and Brain Busters/Strike Force. Here's to a good show!

Oh dear, this show is 3 hours and 30 minutes long. I know present-day WrestleMania is about that length, but 80s WWF doesn't feature matches much longer than 6 making it difficult to get invested. Rockin' Robin does the National Anthem and holy hell, it was brutal. Ventura was equally as disgusted and said she better keep her day time job.

Doesn't feel like WrestleMania, but I like the entrance set-up.

King Haku (with Bobby Heenan) vs Hercules

WWF picked the oddest matches to open their shows back in the day. Hercules goes after Heenan and Haku nails him with a clothesline. Sweet backbreaker from Haku, he's been consistently entertaining. Haku was definitely one of their better wrestlers around this time. Hercules manages to break out of a bearhug but Haku nails him with a couple of strikes to keep him grounded. Cool high crossbody from Hercules. This is probably the best performance I have seen from Hercules. Haku with a super kick to a flying Hercules! Haku misses the diving headbutt and Hercules gets him with a bridging suplex for the win! Good opener! Commentary was strong, match flowed wonderfully, and both men delivered a good performance.

Young HBK sounded so much different.

The Twin Towers (Akeem and Big Boss Man) (with Slick) vs The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty)

Michaels flying around the ring early against Boss Man. I have no idea what Akeem's gimmick is supposed to be. Frequent tags between The Rockers, working on Akeem's arm. Awesome spot with a double arm ringer. Boss Man is tagged in, catches Jannetty, and Boss Man and Akeem sandwich him. Big Avalanche in the corner on Jannetty. Marty crawls under Akeem and gets a hot tag to Michaels. Boss Man should really stop going to the top rope. Boss Man has Michaels up for a powerbomb but Jannetty goes in and trips him up. Double dropkick by the Rockers! Akeem breaks up the count and sends Jannetty out. Michaels goes to top rope but Boss Man breaks him in half with a spinebuster. Akeem Splash for the win. Fun tag team match, The Rockers never disappoint and Twin Towers held their own.

Ted DiBiase cuts a good promo with Schiavonne. DiBiase has his Million Dollar Championship. He had the perfect look and talking skills for his gimmick.

Brutus Beefcake vs Ted DiBiase (with Virgil)

Monsoon asks who DiBiase beat to become Million Dollar Champion and Ventura responds, "he beat the banker." Good stuff. Beefcake attacks DiBiase while he is handing his title over to Virgil. DiBiase calls a timeout on the outside. Beefcake almost catches DiBiase with the small package but DiBiase goes back on the attack until Beefcake counters with a suplex. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream but Beefcake gets to the ropes. Beefcake slaps on the Sleeper but Virgil gets on the apron to distract him. DiBiase sends Beefcake out, gets the referees attention, and Virgil beats on Beefcake. Well, tries to. Beefcake goes after Virgil but DiBiase hits im from behind. The match ends on a count-out (was bound to happen eventually, right?). Beefcake chases Virgil after the match and gets him in the ring. Beefcake gets Virgil with the Sleeper and gets the scissors for DiBiase, but DiBiase runs away with Virgil. Bad ending but the match itself was alright.

Terrible backstage segment with The Bushwhackers.

The Bushwhackers (Bushwhacker Luke and Bushwhacker Butch) vs The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques Rougeau and Raymond Rougeau) (with Jimmy Hart)

The Bushwhackers won. Not a lot to say about this match. It wasn't bad, I guess. Very filler though, which I think is a huge waste of The Fabulous Rougeaus.

Mr. Perfect vs The Blue Blazer

First time Perfect is rocking his classic singlet in the WWF. Perfect toys with Blazer early on and Blazer responds with a couple of slaps. Ventura says he has a good idea of who Blue Blazer may be. Sweet series of moves from Blazer. Perfect puts the knees up to block Blazer's splash. Lots of near falls for Blazer. Perfect finally gets him with the Perfect-plex to win the match. I wish it would have been longer but it was about what you would expect from two of the greatest.

Pointless segment introducing Ventura to the audience. Pointless segment with Fuji and some 5K run. Now is time for Run DMC to pleasure us with a WrestleMania rap. I love me some Run DMC but stuff like this should not be happening midway during a wrestling show. Hell, this isn't even the midway point of WrestleMania V.

Demolition (Ax and Smash) (c) vs The Powers of Pain (The Warlord and The Barbarian) and Mr. Fuji for the WWF Tag Team Championship

At Survivor Series, Fuji turned on Demolition to side with The Powers of Pain. Demolition's entrance theme and attire are so bad. I like Demolition, but I feel there are so many other teams in the WWF at the time that I would have preferred to see challenge them instead of PoP (Rockers, Brainbusters, Strike Force, Hart Foundation, Fabulous Rougeaus). Fuji goes to the top rope but misses a diving leg drop. Fuji has some salt but accidentally throws it into the face of his partner. Demolition now has Fuji alone and hit him with Demolition Decapitation for the win. Eh. Good ending but the rest of the match was blah.

Randy Savage is going crazy in the locker room, constantly refusing interviews and pushes the camera man out. Holy shit, that was awesome.

Dino Bravo (with Frenchy Martin) vs Ronnie Garvin

Jimmy Snuka makes an appearance for some reason that isn't exactly explained to us. Bravo wins with a side suplex. Short but respectable match.

The Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) (with Bobby Heenan) vs Strike Force (Tito Santana and Rick Martel)

Martel hammers away at Anderson and Blanchard in their own corner until all hell breaks loose. Double dropkick from Strike Force, sending the Brain Busters out of the ring. Martel counters out of Anderson's submission hold into a Boston Crab, but Anderson escapes. Martel and Santana come in and lock a Figure Four-Lock on Blanchard and Anderson respectively! Martel blind tags Santana and they go for a tag team move but Santana accidentally nails Martel! Ventura called Santana, "Chico Santana". first time I have ever noticed him doing that.

Santana goes to tag Martel in but Martel walks away. Martel leaves ringside, signaling the end of Strike Force. Anderson puts Santana away with a spinebuster but opts not to pin him. Blanchard comes in, taunts Santana, and Santana starts to fight back but to no avail. Anderson tags in and destroys Santana with a Spike Piledriver to win the match. This was simply a good wrestling match with a nice swerve in Martel's heel turn. Martel cuts a promo with Okerlund saying he's sick of Santana and that he will no longer associate with him.

Time for Piper's Pit. Piper's music plays and it turns out to be Brother Love with a kilt. After Love talks, some guy named Morton Downey comes out. Now out comes Roddy Piper. Hot Rod looks a lot different here. Piper delivers on the microphone as per usual and blows Downey's cigarette out with a fire extinguisher. This felt longer than any match that has taken place so far.

Sneak preview to No Hold's Barred. SKIP. Mooney interviews Trump. SKIP. Video recapping the build to the main event later tonight. SKIP. Hogan cuts a fairly long but good promo. There was about 30 minutes between the last match and now.

Andre the Giant (with Bobby Heenan) vs Jake Roberts with Big John Studd as the special guest referee

Andre the Giant should have been long retired at this point. Andre is tied up in the ropes! Andre hits Studd, DiBiase steals snake, Roberts chases DiBiase, Andre and Studd fight, Roberts catches DiBiase, Roberts brings snake back and scares Andre, Andre is disqualified, Jake wins. Clusterfuck finish, terrible match. Like, truly terrible. The last hour or so have been painful.

The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) vs The Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine (with Jimmy Hart)

One thing I noticed is that the tag team matches were almost always one of the best matches of the night. A testament to how strong their tag team division was back in the day and how weak some of the singles matches they put on. Honky Tonk Man connects with Shake, Rattle, and Roll and tags in Valentine. Hitman finally tags in Neidhart, who cleans house. The match ends when Neidhart gets the megaphone and tosses it to Bret, who nails Honky Tonk Man with it when the referee is distracted for the win. Solid tag team match.

The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs "Ravishing" Rick Rude (with Bobby Heenan) for the WWF Intercontinental Championship

Rick Rude is just awesome! His tights have the Intercontinental Championship printed on the front and Warrior's face in the back. Warrior's entrance was so crazy. Rude tried to stop Warrior during his sprinting in the ring but it backfired. Diving dropkick by Rude off the top rope but Warrior powers out of the pinfall attempt. Warrior goes back to the bear hug. Warrior goes for his splash but Rude gets his knees up to block it. Rude nails a piledriver and Warrior kicks out at 2.

Top notch selling of a back injury from Rude here. Warrior starts fighting back, botches a spot where he tried to toss Rude outside the ring. Rude moves out of the way when Warrior goes for a splash in the corner. Rude goes for Rude Awakening but Warrior powers out of it and knocks him down with a clotheline. Warrior goes to suplex Rude back into the ring but Heenan grabs Warrior's feet, holding them down while Rude falls on top of Warrior to win the Intercontinental Championship! Not a great match by any means, but it was good enough with an awesome finish and upset win. After the match, Warrior Gorilla Presses Heenan and runs to the back.

Jim Duggan vs Bad News Brown

Ends in a double disqualification after Duggan uses a 2x4 and Brown uses a chair. Pointless.

Bobby Heenan (with The Brooklyn Brawler) vs The Red Rooster

Rooster wins the match in like 30 seconds. Pointless. Please no more WrestleMania matches that have Heenan competing.

Randy Savage (c) (with Miss Elizabeth) vs Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship

Time for one of the biggest matches ever. Long, tremendous build-up meant there was a lot of heat for this match, not to mention they were easily the two biggest stars in the WWF at this point. Miss Elizabeth says she will be in a neutral corner and that she will support both men. Elizabeth is a terrible talker and made it obvious she was reading off a script, but she's still so lovely. Mooney asks fans in the crowd who they think will win, they all say Hulk Hogan, and he says it sounds like a split decision. Macho Man enters first (I would be lying if I said I didn't hate how Savage was always booked take a backseat to Hogan, even during his WWF Championship reign. I'm not going to rail on Hogan, but Savage was better in just about every way you can think of and it isn't like he wasn't extremely marketable). Last time he had a singles match on pay-per-view was at last year's WrestleMania.

Savage was a fantastic bad guy. Savage rips up a Hogan sign at ringside. Hogan overpowering Macho Man early. Ventura and Monsoon are on point. Savage keeps bailing out of the ring every time Hogan gets offense in and Hogan finally goes after him. Savage uses Elizabeth as a shield to protect himself, awesome heel move. Hogan gets Savage with a drop toehold and then a front facelock, which Savage counters out of with a back suplex. Savage rakes him in the eye and goes to the top rope for a double ax handle but only gets a two count. Crowd is hot.

Hogan rakes Savage's eyes with his foot. Man, Hogan had so many heel tendencies. Hogan is busted open. Knees to the back from Savage, who rolls him up and gets a handful of tights but Hogan still kicks out. Savage takes a nasty fall on the outside after Hogan throws him out. Elizabeth checks on Savage but Savage swipes away at her and tells her to leave him alone. Macho Man tries to ram Hogan's head into the barricade but the Hulkster blocks it. Hogan goes to ram Savage into the ring post but Elizabeth stands in the way to protect Savage, allowing Savage to get free and he sends Hogan head first into the ring post.

Savage yells at Elizabeth when she checks on Hogan. Macho Man forces Elizabeth to leave ringside and go backstage. Double ax handle to Hogan on the outside! Macho throws Hogan back inside and he's dominating. Savage chokes Hogan out with the tape that was on his elbow. Savage drills Hogan with the elbow drop but Hogan kicks out on a short 2 count! Hogan hulks up, does his routine, and finishes Savage off with a leg drop. Not a big fan of Hogan kicking out of the elbow drop so easily, but it was a well-paced match, told a story, and was without a doubt the best main event in WrestleMania history up to that point. Both men were on their A game.

Conclusion: I have seen this show get crapped on in some reviews, but I enjoyed it. You still had your typical issues with 80s WWF, like the constant filler matches and segments, weak finishes (although not nearly as prevalent on this show as it was on other 80s PPVs), and matches that were short on time due to too many matches. However, there was a lot to like on this show. Hogan/Savage delivered, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Rude winning the Intercontinental Championship was great and the match was solid. You had other good matches on the undercard, such as Perfect/Blazer, Beefcake/DiBiase (despite weak finish), Hercules/Haku, Brain Busters/Strike Force, and Hart Foundation/Honky Tonk Man and Valentine. The show could have been even better if you put more of a story behind some of those matches or cut down the PPV to around 2 hours and 30 minutes. Or, at the very least, didn't make us sit through the trainwreck that was Roberts/Andre. Score: 4.7

Next Up... 1989 SummerSlam