Housemate stories

[PorkChop]

I have a housemate from the Phillipines who literally cooks a kilogram of rice per day, eats a few spoonfuls, then leaves the rest in the saucepan until it turns into a cold, white gel. He'll then throw it away, and do exactly the same the next day. Our bin bags are honestly 50% rice.

I have another housemate who cooks chicken and then leaves it to sit for an hour before eating it. He made chicken fajitas earlier, fried the chicken, then went and played FIFA in his room for an hour while it sat there going cold, then came back to cook the rest. That's fucked up. Why would you not want to eat the chicken immediately? He does the same with roast beef as well - he'll pull it out the oven, then walk away from it and leave it to sit there going cold and hard before he returns to eat it. What the fuck? He's allegedly a chef as well.

I had a housemate at university who had a real victim complex when it came to housework. He'd wash the dishes or vacuum the floors like once every two months (if we were lucky), and then would insist that he was the only one who ever did anything around the house and would say people weren't pulling their weight. It would infuriate me and the rest of the housemates. While I was taking the bins outside one day he made a comment about how it was "about time I did something like that" (I literally did it 90% of the time) and locked me out the house. My other housemates let me back in, and when he went out that night, I screwed off the top of his Febreeze bottle, took a piss in it, then screwed it back on. He never realised, and I saw him spraying his clothes and pillows with my piss a few days later.

What housemate stories have you got?