What should I do? (roommate problems)

[Messiah]

Just a quick run-down. I'm a student and the plan was to finally get my first apartment with 2 roommates in the Spring. I don't necessarily need to live there, but who doesn't want an apartment? They also would be going to the same college I do. They are two females. We toured the apartment twice and agreed on the rooms. There are 3 rooms - a master bedroom with a massive bathroom, a 2nd room which is a nice size and a bathroom inside, and a 3rd, smaller bedroom without a bathroom inside but a bathroom right outside of it. The apartment is near NC's beaches (Wilmington) and because I'm currently in Raleigh (planning to transfer schools; I have classes here for this semester) and work, I couldn't move down on Saturday (which is the day we paid our first months rent and our lease officially started).

Nobody will be living there in December but they went ahead and moved their stuff in on Saturday to get it out of the way, which was cool. This is where it gets messy. We had previously agreed on the rooms and I would get the master because they said they were cool without it. I made sure they were OK with this and they said yes. We agreed on a pay scale for it too; whoever got the master paid $380, the 2nd room was $360, and the smallest room was $340. I paid my portion for the bigger room. However, they get there with their parents and say that their moms don't like one of the girls not having their own bathroom (assume they mean not having one in their room, because there are 3 bathrooms; 1 for everyone) because of "privacy". Considering I'm the 1 guy in the house, I feel like it makes more sense for me to have the bathroom in my room but regardless, without consulting with me and asking for my permission (which I would have eventually given out of respect), they move into my room and now I am stuck with the smallest bedroom despite having only signed the lease with the expectations that I would not be in the smallest room.

I don't think there parents want me there because I'm a guy and they said they would reimburse me for the money I already paid. They said they e-mailed the people who run the apartments on how to get me out of the lease, which I requested not because of the rooms but because they already betrayed my trust on a major decision and I don't feel safe with their parents as involved as they are. However, even with them agreeing to sign me off, I will need the company to sign it off as well and they will only do so if they find a replacement for me and finding a roommate before January with Christmas coming up will be damn near impossible. So I'm just looking for options on what I should do.

A) Tell them that their parents, having already gotten so heavily involved, should be willing to replace me on the lease. On top of them doing that, they should reimburse me for at least the extra money I paid for the room and the deposit. If neither of these happen, I move my stuff into the room and move whoever's stuff is in there right now out. I have proof that an agreement was made and proof of the transaction, so I don't think there is anything they could do about this other than complain. However, one of the girls is a good friend of mine and I'm a nice person so I don't want to have to move someone's stuff out. I think this is probably the best option though.

B) Suck it up and take the smallest room. Taking the smallest room isn't the end of the world for me, at this point I just don't want to live with them. What they did was messed up and deceitful.

C) Threaten to not pay the rent. While this would be a good way to heighten the chances their parents replacing me on the lease, if they stood their ground, there is nothing I could do. Risking the rent not being paid would be moronic on my part; it is a year-long lease and my credit would eventually pay the price.

[Everlong]

If you threaten or actually following through with not paying the rent, they can take you to small claims court and get you to pay it anyway, plus you'll then potentially get taken to collections which would destroy your credit. If they're at all smart they'd just call your bluff there, so I wouldn't bother with that route.

How much have you talked to the girls about your frustrations, and have you considered asking them to tell their parents to back off? You're all adults here, it's pretty ridiculous for them to be involved to this extent. Maybe they even agree with you (the girls), idk. If you're friends with them it seems you should at least broach the issue directly with them before taking any additional steps.

If you move someone's stuff without asking them then you're just asking to essentially destroy any chance of having a good relationship with your roommates right off the bat. I would definitely not take that strategy.

It seems to me like there's still a way you can salvage the situation just by talking to the girls about it more. If it were me I'd probably just take one of the other rooms and just switch around who's paying how much rent, maybe ask to pay even slightly less than the agreed amount just because of the inconvenience. I guess it depends how big of a deal you want to make out of it and how much hassle you're willing to go through.

[Headlesspete]

Me, as a person, would move all her stuff out and move into my room. But I'm a dick when it comes to this stuff, and i do what i want first and think about the consequences later.

Try talking to her first and explain the issue. I have to question if she's more behind it than you think, because she gains more from getting that room, so i imagine she maybe pushed for it just as much as her folks, but she's now saying it was her parents forcing her to do this. If she refuses to budge, I'd get out of there. Its gonna be too much of a sore point for you to move past, and its better to move on as swiftly as you can rather than waste your time hating being there.

But if you do move out, make sure you can a dump on her bed on your final day. Just for shits and giggles.

[Hanley!]

I don't know the whole situation, so forgive me if I'm out of line here. But it seems like you might be overreacting to this. I understand that it's a bit of a shitty position to be in and that you're now paying the most for the smallest room. I don't want to minimize that. But at the same time, it does seem like something you could work out by talking to the girls. And I'm not surprised that a couple of protective mothers wanted their daughters to have their own private bathrooms and disapprove of them living with a guy. It's irritating, but not out of the ordinary.

I guess what I'm wondering is if you really mind having the smaller room, and if you can talk to your roommates about reorganising the rent to account for the fact that you have the smaller room.

If it's not enough space for you, then leaving is the right option. Otherwise, I'm sure your roommates should be reasonable in letting you pay less rent than originally planned. You should be able to talk it out with them. If one of them is your friend, then they shouldn't be out to screw you over here.

How old are they, out of interest actually? And are their parents paying their accommodation? Because if not, then they really could just tell their Mums to butt out of it.