Porky's list of football conspiracies

[PorkChop]

So, based on the sports conspiracy thread, here's some conspiracies/rumours I've personally heard.

Some Nigerian footballers are much older than they claim.

Guys like Obafemi Martins, John Utaka, and Taribo West are the most notable examples, and their careers arguably reflect this.

Martins joined Newcastle when he was allegedly 22, however it was believed by some that he was as much as 6 years older. I remember there was a big deal being made about his refusal to provide a birth certificate when signing. He's now '29' and plays in the MLS already, has done for over a year now. It is believed that now he's actually 35 - roughly the same age as other footballers who have competed in Europe and moved to the MLS - guys like Robbie Keane, David Beckham, plenty of guys with careers in Europe moved to the MLS at this age.

John Utaka is officially considered to be 32, but there are theories he is much older. He now plays for Sivasspor, a mid-table team in the Turkish league - which is strange considering he was on Portsmouth's books a few years back while they were in the Premier League, earning 80,000 per week. Redknapp apparently knew Utaka's real age, but took a bung to sign him.

Taribo West is considered by some to be as much as 12 YEARS older than he claims. He went from Inter to AC Milan, to Derby, Plymouth... Julius Berger and Paykan. He was allegedly 26 when he signed for Derby, but if the theory is correct he'd be around 38 - a point where you'd have deteriorated hugely as a player. This may explain why he stopped playing for the Nigeria national team at this time as they knew his real age, and instead played sporadically for minor clubs, usually having his contract terminated by mutual consent. As you can see on the linked article, the ex-president of Partizan, one of West's teams during his career decline, swears by this rumour.

At a recent African Nations youth tournament FIFA began using MRI wrist scans to correctly age Nigerian players. Allegedly the Nigerian team suddenly withdrew a significant portion of their squad from the tournament after finding out.

A similar 'age conspiracy' exists over the Ghanian / American footballer Freddy Adu.

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Lasagna-gate

Ok, so - Tottenham need a win on the last day of the season to finish 4th, which means they'll play in the Champions League and get a shitload of money. Tottenham's opponents are West Ham, and the Tottenham team stayed at a nearby hotel in London before the game. A large proportion of their team fell sick due to dodgy lasagna at the hotel, and they were forced to field a very weak side - some of their players missed the game entirely, others managed to play but were sick on the pitch - and West Ham came away with the win. Meanwhile Arsenal win, beating Tottenham to 4th place. Due to their loss at West Ham, Tottenham wound up finishing 5th. Arsenal got Champions League football and a boatload of cash, Tottenham didn't. They got diarrhea.

It was believed that the staff at this London hotel were either Arsenal fans, or had taken a bribe from Arsenal fans to deliberately mess with the food. It does all seem a bit fishy given the circumstances.

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The Bebe / Nani drugs conspiracy

Bebe, an absolutely nobody, moves to Man United for £7.4m. Baffles everyone, especially when Alex Ferguson admitted having never seen him play. Instead, Bebe was apparently personally recommended to Fergie by his former assistant and Portugal’s then coach, Carlos Queiroz.

So, the rumour - During the World Cup, Manchester United and Portugal player Nani is mysteriously sent home with a supposed shoulder injury sustained in training, hours before a “surprise” visit from drug testers. Nani had taken drugs, believed online to be cocaine, and knew he'd face a MASSIVE ban - both United and Portugal would be buggered. Ferguson convinces Quieroz to send Nani home and avoid the drug testers and the ban, even though Quieroz's neck would be on the line if he did. As a result, Quieroz is later fined and investigated and subsequently dismissed from his post. As a thanks for the favour, Ferguson then pays £7.4m for an unknown player called Bebe.

Bebe’s agent who brokered the deal is Jorge Mendes - who is also the agent of Carlos Queiroz.A hefty sum of this fee went to Quieroz and Mendes, which explains the case of the missing money, and in return, Fergie got Nani and an unknown player called Bebe - who has only made two appearances for United in 4 years. Not surprising that the anti-corruption police got involved, then.

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Steven Gerrard's mysterious backpass

There's talk that this bizarre backpass from Steven Gerrard was planned, so Liverpool would lose the game and prevent Man United from winning the Premier League, equalling Liverpool's record in terms of Premier League titles. It can be seen at the start of the video.



Gerrard is known for excellent passing and vision - so why he'd play such a risky pass through his own defence to a striker as lethal as Drogba is most strange. The rivalry between Liverpool and Manchester United is one of the most intense rivalries in all of sports, and Gerrard, who is considered the embodiment of Liverpool, may just have 'taken one for the team' to preserve their bragging rights.

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I'll do a part two if people want to read it!

[prophet]

To support the theory that Nigerian's lie about their age. Here's a photo of Joseph Minala...



Currently in the Lazio Youth Team. He's apparently 17 - I shit you not, they claim he's 17.

Here's a photo of '17 year old' Minala next to 19 year old Adnan Januzaj.



Draw your own conclusions.

[Camstud]

I'd love a part two, cracking read mate.

The one about Minala always cracks me up, such obvious BS

[Romo]

I remember the one when Pep was in his peak at Barca playing tika taka some siberian tv show claimed that the hand signals the team would play in during the El Clásico' and they would reveal the best route for arms into country by their dribbling.

[Chewy]

No mention of fergie time?

The obvious bias is even more evident when they don't get it this season and look at them.